The Long Hot Summer

The conclusion of Don’t Fear the Joker is finally out, and at first, I was amazed at just how long this tale has taken to complete.  Then I factored in how much has been going on besides writing the main story.  Earlier in the year we had the flashy stuff like the Second Life Visitor Center opening, video wallpaper and other website upgrades, and of course those delicious Cat-Tales Cocktails in the making.  The last few weeks it’s been more low-key but still quite vital:

First, proofing edits complete on Demon’s in the Details, which means a spiff new 6.625 x 10.25 (comic size) pdf for anyone who likes reading hardcopy, as well as Kindle and Mobi versions for the growing numbers that want to read on the go.  All of that is standard for each completed Cat-Tale.  What’s new for Demon is an ePub format.  This is the only file currently available in this format, so we can work out the kinks before rolling it out for all 60+ tales and compilations.  Anyone using Stanza and/or Safari on their iPhone or iPod should try it out here.   Users of the Droid Kindle app and other mobile readers should also give it a try and let me know what methods work best for you.

Speaking of proofing, we’re coming up on the end of Book 5, so that means a new compilation and a logical time to make the jump to providing the complete books available for Kindle.  Now, remember the scene in Empire Strikes Back where Yoda maintains that size shouldn’t make any difference?  If you can Force-float a pebble you can levitate the X-wing?  Well, it’s a theory, but it sure is intimidating.  Luke-like, I am going to try, but Kindle folks, please be kind on the off chance that I can’t get work out a proper table of contents/bookmark menu.

And finally—you didn’t think we were done yet, did you?—Finally, the social networking world has changed since I installed the “Add this” buttons, and it’s definitely time for some new options there so the tales can be easily shared on Facebook, tweeted, and otherwise passed around.  Expect these upgrades to roll out slowly and quietly in the next few weeks.  

As for what else I’ve done with my summer vacation, this season’s recipient of the DC Comics Shoe Fund is Kenneth Cole. 

Chris Dee
www.catwoman-cattales.com 
cattales.yuku.com
cattales.wikispaces.com

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This Week in Cat-Tales

It’s been a while since I logged a general catch-up entry.  I’m reasonably sure I mentioned when Armchair Detective and Not My Kink were released for kindle and mobile readers, but so much was happening in that window, putting the finishing touches on the Second Life Visitor Center and working on the pictures for the Cat-Tales Cocktails, they may have gotten missed.  In any case, edits are well underway for CT 58: Demon’s in the Details, so that should be released in just a few weeks. 

Better still, I got myself a new phone, an Android platform.  There’s a Kindle app, so I should be able to test the phone features much better now.  For example, visiting the Cat-Tales homepage, I see that not all smartphones will direct to the mobile-friendly menu page, only the iPhone does.  The rest of you (who are now the rest of US) can continue to use the iPhone button on the bottom menu until I get an automatic redirect in the works.

Also, the new chapter of Don’t Fear the Joker is out today. I know many readers were expecting this next chapter to be the final one, and I actually did consider it since CH9 is quite short.  But not only is it a complete chapter/installment on its own, there is one other non-Gotham, non-story consideration.  As forum followers are aware, my A/C gave up the ghost on August 1st, timing that IMO shows a truly Jokeresque sense of humor, and since the coming and going of repairmen is apt to slow down the progress of Chapter 10, I figured it was better to get this out there.  All of you can cackle with Mistah J while I keep Cashmere from hogging the sweet spot in front of the fan.

‘Til next time, Ciaomeow as we say in the real neighborhood.  And stay cool.

Chris Dee
www.catwoman-cattales.com  
cattales.yuku.com 
cattales.wikispaces.com

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Comic-Con Tweets

If you have an iPhone to give away, you can get thousands of people at Comic-Con to tweet anything you want.  Next year, I’m buying a couple dozen for:

Didio looks like he’s aged 30 years since September. 

Twilight fan panel canceled after CosPlay mishap.

Comic-Con fun: ordered a Cattitude at the Marriott bar in front of Matt Idelson.

Unless you’re dressed as an Imperial Storm Trooper, DO NOT go in Room 26AB.

Grant Morrison has the cursed monkey’s paw.

Three things that should never go together: IMAX, vampires and nachos.  I’m just sayin’

Jim Lee is HOT.   
(Not giving away a phone for that, it’s just a personal observation.)

Bride of the Demon was only written to make editor O'Neil get past the Bat/Cat and settle down to do his effing job.

No, seriously, my Uncle Larry was dead for 3 days and he looked better than Didio looks now.

Just saw a Xena, a real Catwoman and two Hulks beating up a goggle-whore in Ballroom 3.  WIN!

Comic-Con fun: ordered a DEE-vious at Hilton bar in front of Will Pfeifer.

Javier Grillo-Marxuach is HOT.
(No giveaway.  Again, just a personal observation.)

Those were the droids you were looking for.

Unless that hazmat suit is real, DO NOT go in Room 8.

Ferregamo, Manolo Blanik and Jimmy Choo recognize DC Comics w/ special merit award.

There is no such thing as a Lego Amazon.

Chris Dee
www.catwoman-cattales.com 
cattales.yuku.com
cattales.wikispaces.com

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Harvey Pekar Dead at 70

One of the real annoyances with the fustercluck that is DC Comics of the last decade-plus is the scope of their wrong ideas.  It wasn't just a particular writer here or a specific storyline there.  It was an all-encompassing atmosphere of WRONG, a virtual monsoon where ALL decisions and attitudes were doomed to fail because they were built on core principles that were faulty.  

A perfect example was Will Pfeifer's passive-aggressive attempt to paint any alterntaive to the East End goggle-whore excrement as boring.  It went something like "Panel 1: Selina pours coffee.  Panel 2: close up on the handle."

Telling example, as that cup of coffee is certainly an emblem of real life, an aspect of storytelling which eludes the year long crossover crowd.  "Realism" is not making everyone a psycho, a pedophile, a prostitute, or a serial killer. Realism is drawing those links between the fictional creation on the page and the living people reading it.  Bruce Wayne shaves in the morning.  It doesn't negate the fantastic larger-than-life stuff, it grounds it in something we can all relate to.

Harvey Pekar is dead at 70.  He wrote the autobiographical comic American Splendor, but more than that, he saw potential in the comic medium to tell stories beyond pulp horror and fantasy.

Pekar felt that the medium could be put to wider use, and he played with panels as a storytelling vehicle for more than a quarter of a century.

Without men like him, we'd be nowhere.  Without those who stretch and explore, who fiddle with the dials and see what something can actually DO beyond whatever we've been doing, without those guys, we'd be absolutely nowhere.  We'd still be in the trees.

Chris Dee
www.catwoman-cattales.com
cattales.yuku.com
cattales.wikispaces.com

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A Tale of Two Press Releases

Last week saw some big news from both comics giants. Let’s compare, shall we?

Marvel is forming a TV division to develop its properties into live action and
animated offerings for that enormous television audience. They named Uncle Jeph
(that’s Jeph Smallville-Lost-Heroes-The Long Halloween-Hush Loeb to the uninitiated) to head it. Back
when Disney first bought Marvel, I said “Now we got us a fair fight.” I meant
that Disney had the synergy of a multi-national corporation that has its fingers
in many, many pies, a depth and breadth that Marvel lacked, and a knack for
getting all those diverse operations working together to make the most of their
properties. I know some of us wrinkle our noses when we hear our beloved
characters described as “assets” or “properties,” but honestly, as a fan as well
as a stockholder, I am all in favor of Disney’s efforts to get every dime they
can out of every character they own. A higher ROI for me as a stockholder means MORE
STUFF for me as a fan. It really is a win-win if the company knows what
it’s doing.

And this is where I planned a contrast with Time Warner, which has that
diversity in terms of the divisions listed in its balance sheet: there’s a movie
studio and television as well as music and publishing, even if some are on life
support.  But they’ve never been able to get it all working together very
effectively. Even
after Martha Stewart gave them a humiliating billion dollar tutorial on the
process, they just don’t get the click going: strip the old science fiction
series that had a cult following, build a new
audience for new merch and a season-by-season DVD release, soundtrack, new novels, games, and
then potentially a new series or feature film. As I said, that’s the compare and
contrast I had planned, until *koff* the Amazon made her appearance. Thursday,
DC announced their plan to give Wonder Woman a new origin and costume. They
announced in the mainstream media, which is usually an indicator that they know
their readership is long gone and they have to venture out into the world beyond
Wizard, CBR and IGN to get a message through. (c.f. previous week's Superman article in USA
Today.)

It’s not the nature of the Diana news that interests me, however. Like West
Wing’s Bruno Gianelli, I only have so much RAM in my head. I have to prioritize.
I have to throw some things overboard. One of the things I've chosen not to care
about is whether or not Diana of Themyscryra gets a new outfit. The thing about
this episode that did get my attention was the contrast with Disney/Marvel’s
announcement in, well... scope. The latter is moving with a sure hand into new
waters where movies, video games and even theme park attractions feed into each
other, creating a capital-F Franchise that is more than the sum of its parts.
And the reactions to the news are a beautiful illustration of reaping what you sow:
“OMG, he wrote Teen Wolf? I didn’t know that!” and “Wasn’t Heroes great!
Remember those viewing parties we had? Did you know Tim Sale did the paintings
for that show?” “Long Halloween was the best comic I have ever read in my life.
10 years later, it’s not dated either.”

Meanwhile DC is creating this tempest tiara in a teapot, working a shrinking
readerbase into a lather over a “controversial” new costume. The only people bothering
to fight over this are that 1% of 1% of 1% that didn’t write this guys off by
2007. And in contrast to the Jeph news, reactions include the phrases “latest
atrocity” “You read it for me, I’m afraid to look,” and “Oh good God, what are
they doing now?” Says to me that 1% of 1% of 1% who haven’t jumped ship aren’t
exactly enthusiastic. Is it possible the only reason they haven’t jumped is they
don’t know how to swim?

Maybe it’s not a fair comparison. I would probably be the first taking the new
regime to task if they tried moving forward without setting their house in order
first. There are too many sins unadmitted and unatoned, so much so that if a
typo slips into one of these articles: “Superman is Daily Planet reporter Bark
Kent” everyone’s first assumption is that they’re replacing Clark in a new
campaign to stick it to the old school fans. That is a problem that should
probably be addressed before trying to weave the comics into the movies,
cartoons, and gaming worlds where these characters thrive. But they better do it
fast because Jeph is getting a head start, and history has shown us when he
comes out of the gate strong, there’s no stopping him.

Chris Dee
www.catwoman-cattales.com
cattales.yuku.com
cattales.wikispaces.com

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*Discreet cough* Oh Mr. Nolan, A Word in Your Ear

There’s an ad out right now for Netflix or some similar outfit that talks about the different levels a good children’s movie should have: accessible to kids but with more going that speaks to adults. The Toy Story universe is a perfect example, it has its own analogy for
Death, for God's sake. While the toys can cease to exist by being utterly destroyed, that’s not it. They might fear winding up on Sid’s worktable and having fireworks strapped to their ass, but that’s not a fate that is going to befall every toy. There is a different reality, a painful one that every one of them will have to face sooner or later: the children who play with them will grow up. They all know it, and like us living folks and the Grim Reaper, they try not to think about it. There is a REASON the staples of our popular storytelling revolve around heroes who can die but don’t, who come through dangerous situation after dangerous situation and always come out triumphant and unscathed—and that reason isn’t because car chases are cool or explosions look awesome on the big screen. It’s because we are all food for worms and we know it. As always, those who understand the moving parts that make a story work will keep on pulling off these amazing hits, while those grasping desperately at stunt after stunt will keep on failing.

Pixar is one of those who understand. They succeed more often than is statistically possible, and a huge part of that is drop-dead perfect storytelling. When they made Toy Story 2, there were exactly two sequels to spectacularly popular movies which were recognized as better than the originals: The Godfather Part II and The Empire Strikes Back. John Lassiter, et al STUDIED those movies, not in a dumb superficial way but by delving into their structures and content: how much of the first films were referenced, how much was built on, how much was new. Not just churning out more of the same. Not trashing everything that made the originals what they were. Theme and variation, theme and recapitulation. It was a magnificent effort, and the results were amazing. Toy Story 2 is a damn good movie. So is 3, btw, but I’m talking about first sequels for a reason.

There is now a third movie sequel that is significantly better than the original. It’s
The Dark Knight. The difference is that the original was no Godfather. Batman Begins was not a great movie. It was good, but it was seriously flawed—and while certain fanboys may start to howl at those words, Christopher Nolan and his band are certainly not among them. They know their first film was flawed because they set about fixing every single one of its shortcomings in the second. They even TOLD US that’s what they were doing. What was it Bruce said stitching himself up? “I learn from my mistakes.”

NOW, not in 2005 but now, today, Christopher Nolan is in that same position as Francis Ford Coppola, George Lucas and John Lassiter. He’s made the perfect Batman movie. How in the name of Robert Abraham Kane do you top it? I say take a page from Toy Story and analyze those two great sequels: Godfather II and ESB, and also--this is important--forget Batman Begins ever happened. Calm down, I’m not saying scrap its continuity. I know that kind of talk makes the fanboys heads explode. I’m saying for sequel-writing purposes, Batman Begins is no foundation. Approach B3 as a second movie with the goal of surpassing
TDK as if it was the only Batman movie ever made. All Begins had to do was be better than Schumacher. The aforementioned Netflix ad can do that much. The video for the Batman rollercoaster at six flags that instructs you how to use a seatbelt—better than Schumacher. So making Begins posed none of those expectations challenges. Then, making
TDK, begins left you with a nice checklist of errors to fix. That isn’t the case here.
TDK was perfect. It was PERFECT. So this is terra incognita, Mr. Nolan, and it’s time to turn our attention to Pixar’s approach, looking to the great sequels and cracking the code of what made them work. That done, that formula achieved, apply it to the “original” --but that original to be drawn upon and built upon is
TDK.

One woman’s opinion, of course. Your mileage may vary, except in Wisconsin. Batteries not included.

In other news, not a lot of writing happened last week. The triple release of the visitor center, the cocktails, and the new website burned up a lot of purple kitty energy. But not to worry, ground is broken on Chapter 7, and now that The TBA that Ate Tokyo is TBA no more, everything will be going a lot faster.

Chris Dee
www.catwoman-cattales.com
cattales.yuku.com
cattales.wikispaces.com

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The week... Oh for Bast Sake! NOW WHAT?

Okay then, so much happened in Cat-Tales last week I didn’t even manage to get a blog out. I had another chance to play my friend’s Lego Batman game, and as Classic Catwoman, I opened a can of whoopass the goggled pretender—not once but many times, shocking my friend with the violence of a purple cat crossed. It would have been a very cute and entertaining entry, but nobody got to read it because I was more than occupied prepping for the big rollout over the weekend. In case you haven’t seen it:

• The website got a makeover, including some spiff video wallpaper that did not shoot or edit itself.
  
• Armchair Detective and Not My Kink are out for Kindle and Mobi. 
  
• Cat-Tales opened a virtual Visitor Center in Second Life (otherwise known in these parts as the TBA that ate Tokyo).
• Shane Sahr, the rockstar bartender at Seattle’s famous Tini Bigs Martini Bar, released a quartet of Cat-Tales Cocktails that are too sinfully indulgent to be believed. 
  

Now, that’s a lot to get ready, particularly when one of my clients had a press thing and needed a little extra web-work himself. Pulled it off though, got everything together, produced the triple launch without a hitch. Got some nice screenshots of the visitor center, got a new headshot of myself as a pixilated person IN the visitor center, got pictures of the criminally indulgent Cat-Tales Cocktails that should have you all on a plane to Seattle just to order one of these babies. I was all set to get up this morning write up a killer entry about the whole thing when…

Sean Hayes… dressed as Spiderman… singing Don’t Rain on My Parade

Picture a close-up on Chris with a strange little twitch above her right eye. "That’s… Sean Hayes… That’s… Radio City Music Hall… That’s…"

I’m a theatre-gal, folks. Remember
Reputation?  It takes a certain kind of mind to come up with an idea like "Cat-Tales: An Evening with Catwoman", and that’s a mind who’s spent an awful lot of time backstage. I’m also hip deep in comic book superheroes. Sean Hayes hosting the Tony Awards, covering Streisand, dressed as Spiderman, that’s not something someone like me can me can just IGNORE!  For the love of God and Stan Lee, that’s like… for 30 years we’ve all assumed the ’66 Batman was lightning in a bottle, a product of time and place that, if there is justice in the universe, should never be attempted again. But Sean Hayes? Don’t Rain on My Parade? CAMP LIVES, folks. Superhero Camp is alive and well and heading for the Lunt-Fontane.

And y’know what? I’m fine with it. Perhaps the most resilient aftereffect of Miller on the Bat mythos and comic books in general is this overblown seriousness. Maybe it’s not as corrosive to the soul as the other stuff, but it is every bit as damaging to the genre as a whole. It simply isn’t necessary to take this all so f-ing seriously 24/7/365.  It is permissible to lighten up and have a little goddamn fun, and by NOT doing so, a lot of people who would be fans are shoo'd away - because unlike the fanboys who keep enabling this crap, we demand our our entertainment make us FEEL GOOD. The new Brave and the Bold cartoon gets that.  The DC vs Marvel guys on YouTube certainly get it.  Hell, even the uber-realistic Nolan movies get it.  Look at Liam Neason’s face when Bruce finally makes his costumed entrance in Batman Begins. They get it.  They ALL get it.

Perhaps that's why Batman can thrive in movies, in cartoons, in games, and (humbly) in prose fiction, in everywhere EXCEPT the comics medium where he began, is because those guys are the only ones locked into this mindset that Batman is a serious-fucking-business. Maybe if we can just get them to unclench, to embrace the lip twitch and all that it implies, there’s hope.  If not, we can just keep showing this:

and get days of free entertainment watching them try to prevent their heads from exploding.  That could be fun too.

Chris Dee
www.catwoman-cattales.com 
cattales.yuku.com
cattales.wikispaces.com

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